burritwo: adrians: a-creepy-weirdo-has: adrians: I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon I’m not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn’t have gotten stitches. how is that racist they just said they weren’t being racist do you even listen
bedquest: I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH WITH MY OWn mouth softly because i like you
freakvevo: *gets my nipples pierced at Claire’s*
emingaribov: on a scale of 1-10 how left out are u feeling americans
vodkakilledtheteens: WHAT IS EUROVISION. WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT THAT. I FEEL LEFT OUT????
dusknoirs: my life is an endless black hole of unfinished video games
Beethoven: ARE YOU READY TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES?!
Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
14th2: aiclan: afrogay: if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited if great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
Cosmo sex tip #285
Wanna make her wet? Drown her.
epic-humor: thelocalpaedo: my favourite thing is when you’re kissing and you slowly move down to their neck, then you slowly bite down and rip off their head and dance in their blood X
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
niallhortonhearsawho: a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
elsenliberator: jimbertimber: welcome to tumblr dot com dont u dare make fun of gay people or people of color but feel free to make fun of vegans and white girls to the point that you are bastardizing them for doing nothing wrong !! remember we are all accepting here unless u are a vegan or white girl or a christian or a hipster or a republican or p much anyone who doesn’t 100% agree...
mikeyfriskeyhands: Honestly if I had the body I wanted I’d probably dress like a slut Im just saying
thatfunnyblog: i might still be ugly but i used to be uglier
kobayashimarooned: padalackles: dent-arthur-dent: drarna: i love how the two most cited love stories of all time are romeo & juliet and titanic and they both involve teenagers who knew each other for less than a week and Leonardo DiCaprio played the male lead in both them. And he died in both of them and he still didn’t win an oscar
arollercoasterthatonlygoesup: if the phantom of the opera has taught me anything it’s that if all else fails you set the place on fire and cry
epic-humor: mama-bird: coffeeandklonopin: coffeeandklonopin: carpe diem - seize the day carpe noctem - seize the night carpe natem - seize the ass Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it. carpe collum - seize the neck X
bludgertothehead: you’re lying if you say you’ve never recorded yourself singing because you were sure you had talent and were so deeply disappointed that you just deleted the recording and pretended it never happened
brandnoose: brandnoose: every time you swallow a guy’s load, you’re swallowing millions of unborn babies how fuckin metal is that
cancune: if a guy stares at ur boobs just stare at his dick maybe squint a little bit
amoying: sometimes when i stand up my vision gets really blurry and i feel like im about to die but then its like nvm still alive phew
multipack: gay marriage is illegal but wearing sparkly uggs isn’t
beifag: k1mkardashian: girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry
takethewesttraintopanicstation: On a scale from Will Smith to Amanda Bynes how much have you changed in the past 10 years
epic-humor: muggleland: the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people shouldn’t wear his clothes when he looks like an albino orc from the lord of the rings flaming-scrotum: fashion
kiryuusei: in Pokemon BW they don’t say “I love you” they say “liberate your pokemon” which roughly translates to “N’s dad is a giant dickweed” and i think that’s beautiful
These are actually really good...fuck, someone get...
1: Apart from tumblr, what do you like to do in your spare time?
2: Name a favorite of each: food, drink, color.
3: If you married rich and your spouse gave you $100,000 a week, what would you spend it on?
4: Name a favorite of each: book, movie, tv show.
5: If you were given the opportunity to spend 48 hours with absolutely anyone (living or dead), who would you spend it with and what would you do?
6: Name a LEAST favorite of each: food, drink, color.
7: What is the first initial of the name of the person you like/love?
8: What kind of underwear do you prefer wearing?
9: Name a LEAST favorite of each: book, movie, tv show.
10: If you were sat on a plane beside your favorite celebrity, what would you do?
11: What is the strangest thing you have in your room? (You are not allowed to explain why you own it.)
12: What is a weird habit you have, or people have told you have. (Weird, not bad. No nail biting or any of that nonsense.)
13: What would you consider to be the biggest insult to yourself?
14: What are five things you absolutely have to have in your dream house?
15: If you could be reincarnated as any animal, which would you chose and why?
16: Which band (current or past) would you want to go on tour* with? (*Travel with, not preform with.)
17: Name a favorite of each: band, album, song.
18: Why is your favorite band your favorite?
19: How many concerts have you attended? Which was your favorite? Least favorite? If none, who do you want to see live the most?
20: What is one of your favorite song lyrics? (Who is it by?)
21: Who do you ship?
22: What band merch do you own? If any, whose is it and when did you get it? If none, whose do you wish you owned?
23: How did you learn of the band that is currently your favorite?
24: What celebrity do you idolize the most?
25: Which member from which band would you most want to lather in nutella?
Someone please ask me something...
carnivalowl: Saying that a man and a woman can’t be “just” friends is like assuming that a bisexual can’t have any friends at all because they might get a sudden urge to fuck them.